Wash Your Hands and other phobic Dean Oneshots
by LivinWasteland
Summary: When Dean returned he placed the food on the table and told them to eat up,  then before anyone could put their hands on the bag, He cocked his gun.  Sam, Harry, Ron and Hermione all stared at Dean,  "Not one of you even washed your hands." One-shots WIP


There was a knock at the door and Dean got up to answer it. He looked through the peephole and saw nothing but a head full of black hair.

Shit he thought I thought I got rid of her. He unlocked the door and swung it out,

"…Loook you crazy son of a bitch, I don't want your damn-" he cut himself off when he saw it wasn't the Mexican lady trying to sell him burritos. Instead of an overweight Mexican he saw a scrawny, black haired, robe wearing boy clutching a stick in his hands.

Dean laughed at him and said "What Halloween come early around here."

The boy looked at him and did not smiled, his glasses were missing a lens and his face was caked with dirt. He raised his stick up and put it in between Dean's eyes.

Dean looked at the boy then looked at the stick on his forehead and said in an annoyed voice,

"If you don't get that stick from up out my face, I just might have to kill you."

The boy narrowed his and said, "Where am I! Tell me where I am! What have you done with Ron and Hermione? Why did you bring me here!"

Dean raised an eyebrow and said "Look I don't know who you are but I think you may have the wrong person." With that said he stepped back and closed the door in the boys face and locked the chain and dead bolt lock, he then went to his bed and grabbed his shot gun just in case.

Sam then came out from the bathroom with his phone up to his ear, he looked at Dean with the gun in his hand and mouthed "What's that for?"

Dean motioned toward the door and mouthed back, "Psycho boy."

"Alright, thanks Bobby." Sam hung the phone and grabbed a paper bag off the desk that was in the room.

Dean looked at him and said "Dude you didn't even wash your hand."

"Yea I did" said Sam defensively.

"No you didn't I didn't hear any water run and I don't smell that girly ass soap."

"Fine" said Sam "I used hand sanitizer."

"No you didn't"

"Yes I did!" Sam said.

Dean pursed his lips together, "Where you get it from?"

Sam sighed, "Geez Dean, when did you go all Mr. Clean on me? And what did you mean by 'psycho boy'?"

"Well while you were sitting on the porcelain throne, I was getting harassed by a confused 12 yr old

asking me what I did with his friends Herman and Don."

"Herman and Don? Okay…" Sam had the sandwich about halfway up to his mouth when he heard Dean cock his gun and point it in his face.

Sam looked at him sideways, and Dean moved the gun between his eyes "You didn't wash your hands."

Sam narrowed his eyes and put the sandwich down slowly, "Are you feeling ok?" Sam got up and reached into his jacket and Dean still had the gun trained on him.

"Go on now." He said motioning the gun towards the bathroom door. "Go wash 'em."

"Dean, you can't be serious, I'm a grown man you know." Sam pulled a small silver container out, unscrewed it and tossed its contents on Dean.

"Hmm ok Sammie, grown man or not you are gonna wash, now how about after you get through showering me in Holy Water you go wash those hands of yours."

Sam now got up slowly and backed his way up into the bathroom, then turned and went towards the sink. Dean watched as Sam squirted the soap into his hand and watched him turned the faucet on; Dean was set to watch him wash his hands when a knock came at the door. Sam turned and looked at Dean,

"You gonna get that?"

Dean narrowed his eyes, "You just continue washing those hands until I come back, and I better not hear the water stop and don't close the door…." The knocks continued and Dean was making his way toward the door before he stopped and went back and shot the hinges off the bathroom door, causing it to fall on one of the beds….

"WHAT THE HELL!" exclaimed Sam.

"Just in case. Keep washing." Then Dean finally went answered the door.

Now before him stood 3 children all pointing sticks in his face, Dean started to laugh when the bushy haired girl whacked him with her stick.

"Ow!"

"How the did you bring us here?"she said.

"Maybe he's a Death Eater, a very powerful one." Said the same dark hair boy from before.

"Wait hold on, what the hell's a de—"

The girl whacked him again, "Don't play dumb with me, we're not stupid, now what dark magic did you use to bring us here?"

"Look , I really loved to be of some assistance but clearly you three need the help of a professional."

"We're not mad!" shouted the red headed one as he thrust his stick at Deans stomach.

Dean grabbed hold of his stick and the others as well, "I'm damned tired of you whacking me with these damn sticks." With that said Dean snapped their sticks in half and the three gasped in horror then Dean once again slammed the door in their faces.

Dean went back to the bathroom and saw that Sam was not standing in front of the sink and that the window was open. Dean sighed, and thought _Well I guess it's my sandwich now._

He went back to the table that the sandwich was laid out on and sat down, he picked it up and was about to bite it when his phone rang.

Dean rolled his eyes and groaned then he put the sandwich down and looked at his phone, the caller id read Sam.

He answered , "Yea."

"Could you open the door." Sam asked.

"Nope you shouldn't have gone out the window Sammie, now I suggest you come back in the way you came."

"I can't." Sam said drily.

"And just why the hell not?" he said putting the phone on speaker and setting down on the table and went back to try and bite the sandwich.

Sam sighed, and hung up. So Dean just shrugged and bit the sandwich, then the door of the room was kicked down and there was Sam surrounded by the three kids and the dark haired one was hanging on his back with a switch blade at his neck.

Dean quickly got outta his chair knocking the sandwich to the floor.

"Aw come dude. I never even got a chance to bite it." Sam said looking at the sandwich on the floor.

"I did." Said Dean smiling.

"How'd it taste?"

"Good but the extra onions kind of over did it, but on the plus side—"

"Enough chit chat! I'll cut his throat I swear I will!" said the boy hanging off of Sam's back.

"Yea…" Sam grabbed his arms and slung him over his head and held the boy in mid-air by his collar.

"Put me down!" he said kicking and swinging the blade. "I swear I'll cut you!"

The other two children ran up and began to beat on Sam's back screaming 'Put Harry down!' over and over.

Dean laughed and then went and picked up both the children by the back of their shirts.

"Stop squirming." He said and they did as told.

Then Sam said, "Who are you three and where are your parents?"

The red head spoke up, "My name is Ron and this is Hermione. And I think our parents are home, where we should be."

Then the Sam was holding spoke, "My name is Harry Potter and my parents are dead."

"Well are you just bringing down the room." Dean said as he set the kids on the ground and Sam followed suit.

"How long have you guys been here?" Sam asked

"For a couple of days I suppose." Answered Hermione.

"Have you eaten?"

They shook their heads, "Well then I guess I go out and get food." Dean said putting his coat on and then he headed out the door.

While Dean was gone Sam got to know the kids and listened to them him of the adventures they have at their school 'Hogwarts.' Thinking at first that is was called 'Hogwash.' He listened to them tell him about the magical feats they could do (or use to do before Dean broke their wands).

When Dean returned he placed the food on the table and told them to eat up, then before anyone could put their hands on the bag, cocked his gun.

Sam, Harry, Ron and Hermione all stared at Dean,

"Not one of you even washed your hands."


End file.
